Ramblings of a Birth Doula
Transgender In the Birth World (Where Parts Matter)
Dear Friends,
Let me preface this by saying, in this wacky weird and wonderful country we live in, I 100% support a persons right to be “transgender”, whatever that means to them. Fly whatever flag, creed, or religion that makes your heart happy. I may not agree on everything, but this is America, and ill fight for your constitutional freedoms just as hard as I would fight for my own. I do not hate anyone, dare I say, I love you. Yes, you, transgendered person reading this expecting to be offended. However, as a trained and practicing birth worker, I have a few bones to lovingly pick with the transgender community.
I was recently confronted with a trans man (born woman, living as a man with testosterone, a mastectomy, all of it) who was pregnant and about to give birth. As a man.
This is where I start to have issues.
I have seen woman after powerful woman GROW life inside of them and burst it forth into the world like the amazing primal bad ass’s that they are. You don’t know power and euphoria until you CARRY and SUSTAIN human life with your entire body. You are pushed far beyond what you thought you had in you and realize there is nothing your body won’t do to bring forth life. Even C-section mamas (like myself) are cut open through layers of muscle, fat, and ORGANS to birth their babies. And thats after 9 months of sharing our own blood, vitamins, and oxygen while our intestines, stomach, and lungs REORGANIZE inside our bodies. It then takes an entire year after giving birth for our organs to go back completely to their original places, and even longer than that for our hormones to re-regulate (if they ever do!). All of this is while still sustaining a new life and reentering the world of regular responsibilities. Its insane, its nuts, and its beautiful. A gift inherent only to woman.
The transgendered man I was confronted with was adamant about him being a man, giving birth. Im not going to argue with a person in this position, and its not my job as a doula to tell clients or anyone else what they get to say or not say. I will do my job for whomever needs me. In birth, I make it a priority to let the mother feel whatever emotion she needs to feel. But as a natural born woman I felt bad for this person who didn’t realize the power she had as a WOMAN. IF you’re going to live as a man, go for it, but don’t go do the thing ONLY woman can do, and then cheapen it by saying you’re a “pregnant man” or “man giving birth”. You can’t pick and choose what aspects of manhood you want. Some of you may disagree with me, but in the world of birth, Im not okay with those lines being blurred. That, in my opinion is a kind of gender appropriation. WOMAN birth babies. WOMAN are SO IMPORTANT because they grow and birth babies! Don’t let men, or anyone else, take the primal and beautiful power you have a woman. Anything we can do, they can do better? False. Men cannot grow and birth babies. Whether you believe God designed humans, or science, or both, it is a fact that men cannot bare children.
Okay, calm down. Go back to the top where I say that I still love you, and will support your right to live however you want. This is still true! But as a fully evolved human who is woke to the world we live in today, knowing the oppression woman have endured, why would you want to take this sacred right away from us? Only woman can birth babies. We (the majority of us anyway) respect certain races by not using slurs, or appropriating their culture, but when it comes to genders all bets are off. I hold power, because I am a woman. I am different from man, and there in lies my power. I am needed to create a baby, even in a homosexual relationship you still need one woman to create life. and I’m not saying any of the LGBTQ+ is bad or should stop or anything like that. All I mean is, woman have a purpose no one else can accomplish. Please don’t cheapen it, or take that away from us. I support you, won’t you support me too?
Love to you ALL,
Lindsey Maxwell